Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

They’re Coming to Get You Barbara… But Not Really. By Joel R Bolyard             One of the most interesting things I had the pleasure of watching, at ICFLM, was the Night of the Living Dead Puppet Show. It was presented by The Angry Young Men; which is kind of funny, considering there are two women in the crew, but I digress. This was not your traditional puppet show, mind you. There was no little box or stage with hidden puppeteers. The puppets were on sticks and only head, arm and torso. The zombiteers were clearly visible, so you had to use a bit of imagination.

You’re Next 3: Pajama Party Massacre A short film by NFTS Productions Review by Kenneth Holm Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer             Let me start out by saying that I really wanted to like this film. I really did. The two actresses who star in the picture, Elske McCain and Scarlet Salem, are very nice in person and not too bad on the eyes, either.

Seed
A Film By Uwe Boll
Review by Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

“For Everything Which Arises Is Worth Destroying”
Frederich Nietzsche

            The above quote opens what could be one of the most disturbing movies I have seen in a long time. Uwe Boll’s Seed is an unflinching exercise in human cruelty. The movie begins with archival footage of humans being exceptionally cruel to a variety of animals that was provided by PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Witches’ Night A film by Paul Traynor Review by Kenneth Holm Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer             Witches’ Night begins with a ceremony conducted by what seem to be witches, going to show that the title was well thought out. A gentleman lies on a table, strapped down as he fights for his life. Witches caterwaul and dance around him, while one witch heats up a very special present.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die A “film” by Jeff C. Smith Review by Kenneth Holm Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer             God, where do I even begin? I went into Stupid Teenagers Must Die with lowered expectations. Unfortunately, I should have lowered them a bit more. The story begins thusly: Years ago, a psychotic killer who went by the inventive moniker “Murder McGee” killed his entire family in his modest, two-level home. Fast-forward to the 80’s, and a group of stupid teens (hence the title) decide to have a séance to bring his spirit back to the land of the living. Wow, that’s pretty fucking stupid of them.

The Fisherman by Aaron K. Bolyard Dorkgasm Staff Writer
            I began watching Albert Fish at roughly about 4 am. I gave thought to following in the footsteps of Hunter S. Thompson and drugging myself heavily (I've got plenty of vicodin left from my surgery), but decided it was better watched with a bit more clarity than my pain killers would allow me.

FATALITY!! MORAL KOMBAT OWNS!!!
By
J. Sternberg

            When I saw the premise for MORAL KOMBAT I was ready for battle. I thought it would be another typical take on video game violence, and its effect on the youth of America. Normally these commentaries offer a single side, usually focusing on Jack Thompson, his crusade, and ridiculous statistics and "facts" that lean toward "video games are bad mmkay???". MORAL KOMBAT is something different. The director, Spencer Halpin, gives you all the angles and lets you decide.

Brain Dead A Film by Kevin Tenney Review by Kenneth Holm Senior Staff Writer             This was the first film I had the honor of seeing at this year’s “It Came from Lake Michigan”, and boy, was it a doozy. Unfortunately I missed the opening sequence, which I’m told was absolutely boobtastic, but I didn’t feel like I was confused at all. It starts out with typical situations bringing six people together in a remote cabin in the woods; only they are not so typical this time around.

It Came From Lake Michigan Day Two By: Kenneth Holm Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer             Arriving super early before the start of the festival, I was waiting around for the Uwe Boll press junket to begin. Wayne was rushing around, setting up volunteers, so I could not get too much of a chance to talk to him. I ran into Bill Zenobia, who told me the press meeting was changed until later in the afternoon. I sighed, and settled in for some more Super Mario World on my DS. After a couple of levels, I turned the game world off and began to settle in for the long haul. Suddenly, I heard a bit of a buzz.