Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

The Chipmunk Adventure

Classic Review
By Anonymous Jones

            While suffering through Alvin and the Chipmunks this past weekend, I spotted fellow Dorkgasm reporter Ken in the theater. We had a brief conversation afterwards, during which we both remarked that this movie sucked at life, and The Chipmunk Adventure was the far-superior film. We flipped a coin, and he lost, meaning he wrote the review for the current stinker. I, on the other hand, got to write the review for the better movie. Ain’t life grand?

Johnny Dangerously

An Obscure Classic review by Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

            In an act of true crime, most people do not even know this movie exists. In fact, whenever director Amy Heckerling is mentioned in a sentence, most people conjure up images of Fast Times At Ridgemont High or Clueless. However, this movie ranks as one of the best spoofs ever to be put to film, in my own humble opinion.

Event Horizon
by
Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

“No, I haven't seen anything and I don't need to see anything sir but I can tell you... this ship is fucked.”
– Smitty (Sean Pertwee)

            Oh, Paul W.S. Anderson. The man has given us almost nothing but pure, unadulterated crap for most of his career. Yet, even the director of Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat, and Soldier has to get something right once in a while, right? Well, with 1997’s Event Horizon, Anderson may have made the best movie he could hope to be involved in.

A Merging of Ideas
By
Joel R. Bolyard

            Imagine with me for a second. Imagine a movie that is one part Fahrenheit 541, one part 1984, and one part the Matrix. Do you have a muddled image in your mind? Are you having trouble picturing the firefighters in vinyl jackets? Forget that, wipe your mind of any images you created and go pick up Equilibrium. No, don’t be an asshat and rent it, go buy the movie. Why, you ask? Let me tell you why.

Creepshow:

A Tongue-In-Cheek Look at a Tongue-In-Cheek Movie

by Kenneth Holm
Dorkgasm Senior Staff Writer

            Back in the early 80's, a studio executive had an interesting proposal hit his or her desk. Imagine a movie written by Stephen King, directed by George A. Romero, with effects by Tom Savini. Fortunately, this executive was not a douche bag. He realized genius when he saw it, and green lit what would go on to become my favorite movie ever.

Who Ya Gonna Call?
By
Michael C. Riedlinger

            Three bumbling scientists and an average Joe run around New York as supernatural exterminators, and comedy ensues. Ghost Busters stands up after more than twenty years because that brand of comedy was, and still is, universally funny. Boiled down to its core, the film is about a relentless cad, an absent-minded intellectual, an innocent buffoon, and a straight man coming together to fight ghosts. Of course, the story itself acts almost like a secondary straight man in that this seems more like the setup for an action/horror film than a comedy.