Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

FUCKING CHRIST THAT WAS AWFUL!!!!


          Ahem... Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to bidness... Never in my life have I witnessed an epic fail like Krod Macfuckity fucknugget and fucknuggetry of idiot land. Its a shame really, with World of Warcraft having over 11 million players, the relatively recent success of all manners of fantasy film, and general dork acceptance at an all time high, the time was perfect for the lampooning of all things epic.

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad
By
J. Sternberg

            The summer of 2008 can be a huge time for Showtime, the proverbial second banana to HBO when it comes to original series on the premium circuit. This last week the underground champion came out swinging debuting one series, and bringing back to fan favorites to a writer's strike-effected sea of fans wanting more. With their big gun Dexter out until at least this fall, how will the network fair? If these three shows are any indication, they'll do okay, at best.

Tin Man: Makes Some Noise But Generally Hollow By Cheryl Kobs             I was extremely excited when I saw the preview for the new Sci-Fi channel miniseries Tin Man this fall. Being a fan of the original Wizard of Oz books and movie, Wicked by Gregory Maguire and the musical Wicked, I was looking forward to a new spin on the same story of Oz. I was hesitant about it being on the SciFi channel, considering their pension for making the worst movies in history. However, the preview looked rather promising, with an interesting cast including Richard Dreyfuss, Zooey Deschanel and Alan Cumming. So, when I sat down with my friends on Sunday to watch the premiere 2-hour episode I was deeply disappointed, and here is why.

My Brain is Full of Government Secrets By Joel R. Bolyard             My Monday night was not wasted watching some shitty football game I could care less about. I spent it watching NBC’s new fall lineup. The first new show on the agenda was Chuck.

The Devil's Due By Kenneth Holm Senior Staff Writer             Last night marked the premiere of the CW’s new comedy Reaper. Before I get into the actual beans of the show, let’s look at the set-up. Sam, (Bret Harrison, Boston Public, That 70’s Show) has just turned 21 years old. His parents, who have been surprisingly lax with Sam when compared to his brother, are acting a little bit odd. For one, his father is outwardly encouraging him to go out on a complete and utter bender. Then, his mother breaks down into tears and flees the room.

Not Your Average Journey By Joel R. Bolyard             When I first saw the ads for Journeyman I, like so many others, thought it was going to be another Quantum Leap. A guy jumping to different times changing things for the better, you know the routine. However, like all the new shows NBC has put out this year, I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. Moreover, while the jury is still out, the first episode is worth watching.

No More Cheesy Sound Effects By Joel R. Bolyard             Gone are the days of strange noises and slow motion when are hero uses her “super” powers. Gone are fanciful explanations of robotic implants. Now everything is real time and the only sound is the air whizzing past. Now we have robotic limbs and a nanotech explanation instead. NBC’s remake of the Bionic Woman, in my opinion, shows real promise.

Chino is a Fucking Beef Bus
by

Valerie Douglas

"They Say in Chess, You Have to Kill The Queen and Then You've Made It" By Valerie Douglas The morning's errands are done. Finally, a few moments to rest before the puttering resumes. Flip on the television in hopes of finding something worthy of napping to. Depressingly, the winds of the television seas have ceased blowing and I find myself trapped in the mid-afternoon doldrums.