Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: A Review
by
Kenneth Holm
Senior Staff Writer
Contains Minor Spoilers

            If I had been given a choice of movies that I never expected to see another sequel to, the Indiana Jones trilogy would have topped my list. The three movies, while still incredibly fun, felt to me like they were a product of the times, a distant but pleasing memory. However, with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, those heady days of intrigue and adventure came rushing back to me in a flood of nostalgia.

            Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens with Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford, proving it’s not the years, it’s the mileage) and his wartime buddy George “Mac” McHale (Beowulf's Ray Winstone) being held captive by Russians. They are taken to a warehouse out in the middle of nowhere to find a box that Jones studied on an earlier expedition. It would appear that the Russians, led by murderous Dr. Irina Spalko (a bizarrely hot Cate Blanchett), has an interest in a certain crash landing in or around the Roswell area. After everyone finds what they are looking for, it is time for Indy to make his dramatic escape. Most of this scene has been shown in the various trailers, so you pretty much know how this goes. After he escapes the warehouse (which is a great scene in and of itself), he finds himself in an even more outrageous situation involving another famous event. Once the madcap nuttiness is over, he heads back to the academic world he treasures so much. Unfortunately, all is not wine and roses when he returns.

            His boss, Dean Charles Stanforth (Hot Fuzz's Jim Broadbent) lets him know that consorting with a known Commie has landed him in some hot water, and as such he is being put on indefinite suspension. This is where we find out that not only did his father die earlier in the year, but series mainstay Marcus Brody has gone to join the choir invisible as well. Having nothing left, Indy jumps on a train where he meets Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf, Disturbia). Apparently, a mutual acquaintance, Dr. Harold Oxley (John Hurt), has disappeared and Indy is the only one who can save him. So, Mutt and Indy begin the journey, aided by the famous map-with-redline, to Peru to find Dr. Oxley and Mutt's mother.

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            Along the way, they meet up with the Russians again, Mac switches sides about twelve times, and find Oxley and Mutt's mom, who just happens to be Marion Ravenwood from Raiders of the Lost Ark. If I were to go into any more of the story, I would probably end up spoiling the whole thing for you, and that is not what I want to do. I want to tell you just enough to get you into the theater to check this one out for yourself. I know the audience for this website, and I know most of you will be there anyway, but for the few that will hold back, I urge you not to.

            This movie takes me back to a simpler time in the cinema. It reminds me of the other films in the series, but it also reminds me of some of the old sci-fi serials that were out in the 50's and 60's. Sometimes this movie is over the top, but it always does something to make you smile. Harrison Ford still can play Indiana Jones with a nod and a wink, although there is a lesser amount of whip-play in this movie than others. Karen Allen's Marion Ravenwood looks exactly as you remember her from Raiders, with just a small dash of even more attitude than before. Even the new characters add so much to the storyline. John Hurt portrays Prof. Oxley with just the right amount of believability, and Winstone's character of Mac is one that held my interest throughout the whole movie. However, the best and brightest of the new characters is Mutt Williams. It would appear that Spielberg and Lucas have decided that it might be time to pass the whip by bringing in Shia LaBeouf, and I for one would welcome it. Mr. LaBeouf and I have not seen eye to eye on everything he has done, but I did really enjoy his performance in this movie. He has great star power and I would not be surprised to see him carrying the trademark bullwhip and fedora someday. However, that day is not today.

            The movie ends just as you hope it would, finishing something it started almost 27 years ago. This film does feel like the final entry of a series in many aspects, however with Lucas shooting his mouth off lately about his desire to do Indy V, it may not be. I would have to recommend this movie to everyone who has found some joy in the past Indiana Jones movies. There are some people, some crazy people, out there who did not enjoy any of them! This movie will probably not make any new converts, but it is more of the same winning formula that has charmed audiences for more than two decades. It is fun for all ages, and has something for every member of the family to enjoy. Check it out today!

            Oh, on one more closing point. Our more eagle-eyed viewers might notice Alan Dale and Andrew Divoff turn up in cameos. Both actors have played or are playing significant parts on Lost. Add another rumor to the bunch!