Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

So a couple of days ago, various genre news outlets, writers and filmmakers began receiving strange, mysterious black envelopes. Inside were letters featuring what looked like ancient script. Now, we at Dorkgasm love a good ARG, so our interest was piqued. We ate up the news that this might be tied to a video game, or a new film project. Of course, we sought out content and were directed to http://chishio.jp

There, we found the following:

The first note is Persian Cuneiform, the second is Theban, The third is Meroitic, and the fourth is Ugaritic Cuneiform.

Now, you might think that they would translate to something. They don't. That really is a let down, but it also lets us know that the geniuses over at 42 Entertainment are most likely NOT behind this one. This reminds us more of the garbage we saw surrounding the Cloverfield release, which was more like a cock tease than a blowjob, to put it in terms most people can understand. But wait, it gets even more ridiculous!

So we hear that this all ties to a site called http://www.revenantones.com and we head over there today. There, we see a countdown and wait the 25 minutes or so to see what happens. At the end of the wait, a hot girl came on the screen and a "QUEUE" button became active. We hit "QUEUE" and watched another countdown. The video was bring as hell, as there was no sound. Maybe the girl was having audio issues? See for yourself:

Finally the countdown ends and an echat client comes up. Now we can hear the girl, so we ask why the envelopes that went out were writen in dead languages. In a tone that was more snarky and bitchy, like a booth-babe turning down a basement dweller's advances, she told us "If you were worthy you might already know why."

Then she hung up... Ouch!

As best we can tell, none of the people who recieved these envelopes has any freaking clue as to why they got one, or what it all really means. A few people have worked out that this is all likely tied to a new HBO show called True Blood. If that's the case, I just hope it's better than John From Cincinatti, because they really need a hit. I mean, Deadwood, Sopranos, Rome, Six Feet Under,and Carnivale are long gone and SORELY missed.

So keep your eyes open for more on this one folks, but don't get your hopes up. If you're looking for something cool and interactive, head over to http://batman.wikibruce.com/ and see how a GOOD viral internet marketing campaign should run.