Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

Today it was discovered that Charlton Heston, that God among men, had died at his Beverly Hills home on Saturday evening. He was 84 years old. While there has not been an official announcement on the cause of death as of this point in time, it is widely known that the charismatic actor had been battling Alzheimer's disease for the past several years.

Charlton Heston was born on October 4th, 1924 in Evanston, IL to a mill owner. After treading the boards in local theaters and the stages of Broadway, he got his big break in the 1950 film Dark City. After he had been noticed in this film, he went on to star in many award-winning films such as The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur. However, some of his best work appealed directly to the Dork market. With futuristic yarns like Soylent Green and The Omega Man to appeal to the burgeoning sci-fi crowd, he also had a handful of high drama flicks such as Orson Welles' Touch Of Evil and the Spanish blockbuster El Cid. \

Even with these huge films under his belt, the role that he is probably most known for is George Taylor from Planet Of The Apes. His immortal uttering of the famous line "Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty apes!" is still known as one of the most memorable quotes of all time. The role has been parodied several times, but no one can take the powerful performance away from Charlton Heston. As time progressed, he was seen less and less in movies, preferring instead to focus his efforts on conservative politics. He was also the president of the NRA, which is a controversial anti-gun control group. Even though he was a conservative for most of his life, he was one of the staunchest supporters of Dr. Martin Luther king, Jr. and the fight for civil rights.

While the passing years have somewhat softened Mr. Heston's images, due largely in part to an unfortunate appearance in Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine, many of us will remember Heston's movies as being larger-than-life, just like the actor. He brought dignity to each and every role he took on, from the three seperate times he portrayed Marc Antony to the role of "Good Actor" in Wayne's World II. Our prayers and well wishes go out to his family, friends, and fans during this time.

What day is it, anyway? Monday? Huh? The hell it is. It's Sunday. Sunday I always dress for dinner. - Charlton Heston as Robert Neville in 1971's The Omega Man.