Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

This week is full of revenge, love, dreaming and a little singing with a lot of blood.

Sweeney Todd
Never Forget. Never Forgive.

            In a gorgeously gruesome cinematic rendition of the hit Broadway musical, Tim Burton introduces us to the deluded mind of Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp), a murdering barber who, with the help of his landlady, Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), turns his victims into delicious meat pies to feed to the unsuspecting public. In true Burton fashion, his film is gritty and dark with several overly bright and shiny moments. The entire cast gives stupendous performances in there various parts. Okay I must admit, like so many other women and men around the world, I am a Depp fan, but I fear I am in the minority when I say it is because of his amazing talent. We are sucked into the persona of the Demon Barber and begin to ooh and aah with delight as he slashes throats, sending blood cascading down victim’s necks in a glorious pool of syrupy goodness. With a cast also including Alan Rickman as the Judge Turpin, Sacha Baron Cohen as Signor Adolfo Pirelli and Laura Michelle Kelly as Mrs. Barker, the show is an instant classic. The music, the cinematography and splendid acting all come together to form a blood soaked spectacle you will watch over and over again.

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Yippee-Kie-Ya, Mammasita!

            Is it sad that the best part of this movie is actually the part that doesn’t exist? I think just maybe. I must admit that the movie was adorable and, to a small child, even endearing. Justin Long (Dodgeball, Live Free or Die Hard) is the voice of Alvin and does a wonderful job. The chipmunks end up being rather funny, with semi- predictable antics that really do bring a smile to your face. Okay a chipmunk in the rinse cycle of my dishwasher would freak me out a little, but some how it just works here. However, Jason Lee is a horrible let down as Dave Seville. His crossed eyes and monotonous dialogue are distracting, making the movie campier than it should have been. His performance almost feels forced. Perhaps because he longs for some chocolate pretzels or maybe just needs an acting lesson or two, you choose. Either way, the film is simply average, but I am sure that some part of you that misses Saturday morning cartoons will get this movie no matter what I tell you, so enjoy.

            So, this is kind of a typical mid-life crisis sob story with a neat twist, making it very cool to watch right up til the end. Gary (Martin Freeman, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Love Actually) is stuck in a dead-end job as a TV jingle writer as his relationship with his longtime girlfriend Dora (Gwyneth Paltrow) slides into non-existence. Then he begins to dream of Ana (Penelope Cruz). Unable to get her out of his head, Gary seeks the help of an expert in lucid dreaming, Mel (Danny DeVito). When Gary begins to see Ana in his real life and Dora in his dreams, situations begin to spin out of control and lead to ever more complicated and funny circumstances. Written and directed by Jake Paltrow, The Good Night is a fitting film for anyone who has ever woken from a dream unsure of whether they are still asleep and longing to return to the unconscious. Although the movie will surely not being winning any awards any time soon for acting or plot, the cinematography and quirky humor keep you hooked in for the ride. Enjoy the film on a rainy day when the world seems to be at your back, but just remember, weary travelers, to always look at your hands and don’t forget your towel.

Also available the week:
Christies’s Revenge (Danielle Kind)
What Love Is (Cuba Gooding Jr.)
The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream (Mark Lanter)