Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

            Mike Mignola is best known as the creator, artist, and writer of the comic book Hellboy. Christopher Golden is best known for his work in fantasy, including Ghosts Of Albion an online series and book he created with Buffy star Amber Benson. Mignola and Golden have worked on a variety of Hellboy-related projects over the years. Their latest partnership, however, is far from, and at the same time, close to the supernatural detective’s realm of fantasy-horror.

            Baltimore starts out in the grand tradition of Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, as three men meet in an old inn. Each has received a summons to be at that particular spot at the specified date and time. One, Demetrius Aischros, is a sailor of many grizzled years. Another is Doctor Lemuel Rose, a wartime surgeon. The last man is Thomas Childress, Jr. Childress is a man of means. All three have one thing in common: they are friends of one Lord Henry Baltimore. After a brief prologue on the fields of World War One in which Baltimore unearths an ancient evil, he three men begin to tell their tales and ruminations of the man they all have in common. Much like Dracula before it, Baltimore sets the tone with many of the trappings of Victorian horror. There are many dark, depressing cities, several unfathomable events that involve the supernatural, and an evil that can only be stopped with piousness and purity of soul. There’s where the similarities end, though. Instead of horse drawn carts and candlelight, we are shown the horrors of war and plague with tanks, trucks, and electricity. As the three men begin to set their individual tales, the night grows later. The men quickly learn that they have been brought together to aid their old friend in conquering the most evil of evils, the vampire. Where Dracula portrays its villain in shades of elegance and sophistication, the vampires of Baltimore are beasts. Sometimes feral and always deadly, they can be dispatched in the usual ways. The bloodsuckers of modern times, such as the ones from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, are of no consequence. As the night ends, the three friends are confronted with true evil. Lord Baltimore finally arrives, but he may be too late to save himself and his cohorts.

            Yes, I know that my plot description is vague. I do apologize for that, but to say more would be to deprive you of the rich stories that Mignola and Golden have spun. The book is written in such a fashion that you can see the events being painted in front of you as you read. The feelings of dread and fear are quite palpable throughout, and more than once I looked up when I heard a sudden noise. The story is quite unsettling at times with its vivid depiction of otherworldly monsters; they are truly the things of nightmares. While the three men are depicted as being ordinary men faced with extraordinary exploits, the authors paint Lord Baltimore with broad, dark strokes. As much a hero as he is a victim, Baltimore’s quest to rid the world of the vampire menace is an intense page-turner. The book is a stocky two hundred and seventy five pages long, and I started and finished the book in less than seventeen hours, if that is any indication.

            This is truly one of the most original tales to come across my eyes in many years. The story and characters seemed so well written that by the end of the story, I felt I had read of their adventures for years. To me, there cannot be any higher compliment than to say that this book is one of the best books I have read this year. I strongly urge you to run out and purchase this book immediately. With illustrations by Mignola contained throughout, this book will surely be a joy to any horror or comic fans out there. While I am not going to give away the ending, there has been room made for another voyage involving the four adventurers. God willing, that should happen quickly. If Hollywood has any brains in their collective heads, someone should option this book quickly and get it rolling. This could easily be the next truly great horror movie.

Editor’s Note: Baltimore has recently been optioned as a film. Both authors will be writing the screenplay, and writer/producer/director David Goyer is slated to direct.