Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

            Yes folks, the time has come to worship the porcelain god again. I know what you are thinking. While Bass Fishing Monthly is a perfectly legitimate periodical, it just does not sit right with a dork. So, what are you to do? I will tell you. Fire up the old Game Boy Advance and slap in Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World.

            Many video gamers will recognize SMA2 as a repackaging of the old Super Nintendo game Super Mario World. This game was made with some serious bowel movements in mind. With over ninety-six levels eventually available to you, you will never be lost for something to do.

            Unlike its SNES brethren, SMA2 allows you to save your game in progress at anytime. Stuck on Chocolate Island 2? Save it! Cannot quite get the hang of the Donut Secret House? SAVE IT! Just seeing the opening title will hit a lot of gamers with a flood of nostalgia. Do not worry, though. If you, like me, have already beaten the shit (Man, I’m funny) out of the first one, SMA2 throws a couple zingers into the game that were not there the first time. You may notice a marked increase of enemies in some levels. Some certain secrets are not in the same place that you might remember them being. However, one of the spiffiest innovations is still included. Yes, I am talking about the frustrating Star Road. Not only are all the Star Road Portals accessible over time, but the Special Zone is here, too. All twenty gut-retching levels of it. This game will bring back memories and take you back to a place where a good game was just a good game, no matter the technology.

            If you, for some God-unknown reason, get bored with Super Mario World, you can also try your hand at some classic Mario Brothers action. Play the classic arcade game with some added features, and you will remember how much fun this game actually was. Stomp the turtles, hit that pesky POW block, and befuddle your plumber brother in the best ways possible. This game is classic, and I am thrilled it has been included in this collection.

            Of course, the game is not perfect. The controls have been remapped, and my fat, adult-sized thumbs have lost a bit of the agility they once had. A couple trips to the crapper, though, and you will be back in business like it was the 90’s all over again. The small levels and numerous secrets will have you coming back for more, perhaps even having to fake an evacuation just so you can get a couple more levels in before work. This is just another reason why Nintendo was on top of the world then, and is close to reclaiming their crown today. I cannot even think of a reason why you should not get this game and enjoy it for all its worth.