Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

No More Cheesy Sound Effects
By
Joel R. Bolyard

            Gone are the days of strange noises and slow motion when are hero uses her “super” powers. Gone are fanciful explanations of robotic implants. Now everything is real time and the only sound is the air whizzing past. Now we have robotic limbs and a nanotech explanation instead. NBC’s remake of the Bionic Woman, in my opinion, shows real promise.

            While browsing through the multitude of channels, I happened upon Entertainment on Demand, and lo and behold, there were the pilots for three new shows from NBC’s fall line-up. What was I to do? Well, I did as any good dork that finds a gem of something to watch should; I copped a squat on the couch and queued up the first of them.

            Enter the character of Jaime, bartender and keeper of her younger sister. You later come to find out that their mother died of cancer and their father was the one who dropped the younger sister on Jaime’s doorstep. You meet her college professor boyfriend, who is teaching about bioethics. With most of the cast out of the way now time to tell you what I think of the story.

(WARNING: Spoilers follow)

            I found irony in Will teaching bioethics as he is the one who authorizes the operation that saves Jaime’s life. Let me back up. Jaime and Will are in a car accident, caused by the first woman outfitted with bionic limbs and such. This, in typical fashion, follows the revelation that Jaime is pregnant and Will’s subsequent proposal. Will is mostly uninjured but Jaime loses an eye, her right arm, and both legs. Oh yeah, she loses the baby too, bet you didn’t see that coming. The scene where Jaime wakes up in the hospital bed was simply amazing.

“Why can’t I feel legs?”
“Your legs and right arm had to be replaced. Part of your blood was replaced with nanomachines”

            She pulls back the cover and her legs look semi-transparent with noticeable motion under her skin. Freaky huh? They also replace her right ear and eye.

            We’re going to sum up some important points so I can get on with my opinion. Will works for a secret agency, it’s implied that its military related. The first bionic woman, Sarah Corvis, is supposed to be dead. Will’s father is one of the developers of the bionic tech and is in a super-max prison. This organization wants Jaime to work for them. I think that sums up the important stuff.

            I could go on about all the fun special effects and fight scenes, but then you can see for yourself starting this week. I’m interested to see where this story goes. We have 1 bionic hero, 1 bionic villain, 1 good doctor, and 1 bad doctor. Despite all the overused plot hooks, the show itself seems like it could be fun. There are plenty of ways the story could go, let’s hope they don’t regurgitate the same garbage as other shows of the same genre. I for one will at least wait and withhold final judgment until halfway through the season.