Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

So the year kicks off with some seriously cool stuff playing before the movies. Yeah, 2009 sucked balls, and we know it. Let's take a look at Hollywood's first attempt to make up for hosing us last year!

Click below to see trailers and reviews for: The A-Team, Iron Man 2, Kick-Ass, Cop Out, Karate Kid, Knight & Day, Repo Men, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Clash of the Titans, Robin Hood, Kick-Ass (red-band).

First up, The A-Team. Holy balls, I loved this show as a kid! I wanted to be B.A. Barachus so damn bad, I ran around saying "pity the foo!" til some neighbor kid twice my size got sick of it and pushed me off my bike. Still, I loved the show, had the toys, watched the Mr. T Cartoon, and even at the foo's cereal! If I'd have been able to reach my mother's jewlery box, I would have walked around in her necklaces all day too. from this trailer, it looks like they actually took it seriously, or at least they didn't massacre it and turn it into a bad joke like Hollywood has done so many times before. I'm stoked!





Mickey Rourke is BACK!!! Okay, so there's better reasons to like Iron Man 2 besides Rourke proving he isn't just some washed up schlub like that idiot Dominic West from Punisher: War Zone. I love that Favreau knows and respects the property, and that Don Cheadle gets to wear the Warmachine suit. Who wasn't excited to see Sam Jackson as Nick Fury? And now we get to see more of him! Marvel, as much as I'm not a fan of their current series of books, definitely has it's act together on this!

So, in my opinion, Hollywood fucked up Mark Millar's Wanted, but then again, I'm the one who made the mistake of reading the graphic novel before the movie came out, so maybe I'm a bit biased. In this case, Kick-Ass looks like it's going to actually kick some ass! I've always like the idea of "real people" super-heroes (I'm a Batman guy), so this just hits me where it counts!

What a shitty title! Seriously, Cop Out is just a hater-critics wet dream come true. Add to that the fact the film is directed by Kevin Smith, the dork they all seem to love to hate, and I think someone at Warner Bros. is simply fucking with my favorite fat man because of what he said about the Superman and Wild Wild West projects. Still, it does look marginally funny, and it'll be good to see if Smith can finally get a hit now that he's not sucking at the Weinstein teat.

I'm actually kind of excited about this one. Karate Kid was another fave as a kid (who didn't try to pelican kick for a summer?), and this is another case where the director seems to have taken fandom seriously. So Will Smith's son is taking over "save the world" duty, Jackie Chan is filling in for the late, great Pat Morita, and they've set the film in China, not the lilly-white streets of Cali... Actually, maybe I was sucked in by the Fort Minor song, but still, the "catch the fly with chopsticks" thing at the end of the trailer is totally worth it!




NOT a huge Tom Cruise or Cameron Diaz fan, but Knight & Day looks like it might be fun. I'm a sucker for fun spy flicks, and Tom isn't playing like he's serious in this one really. Besides, after his turn in Tropic Thunder, I think he has the chops to do over the top comedy. I may not be there opening day, but I'll definitely check this one out.




I love red-band trailer, but this one for Repo Men rubs me the wrong way. A lot of people will see this and rightly say, "That looks so bad ass!". The problem is, I think the trailer gives us a little too much. If you really think about it, is there any question about how this one plays out? We've seen this kind of film before, and it is formulaic and, ultimately, disappointing. Still, I'll check it out eventually (we all will, won't we?) and I'll probably enjoy it for what it is. Hell, with the recent success of Sherlock Holmes, the presence of Jude Law might actually give this film a boost at the box office despite how much he reminds me of Iggy Pop back in the heroine days...




Okay, so two Nick Cage films in one year is usually a bad thing. I mean, can he ever be forgiven for Ghost Rider? Maybe, and while Kick-Ass looks like a sure thing for Mr. Cage, The Sorcerer's Apprentice could be a waste of time. The idea is sound, and I dig the premise, but the "wise sage" thing isn't his thing. Who knows, maybe I'm worng, but for now, I'm not holding my breath.




Now, two Liam Neeson films in a year I can handle! After redeeming himself with Avatar, Sam Worthington is also a welcome player in this remake of a classic sword-and-sandle epic. No, the kitschy Harryhausen effects were NOT great, so don't even pretend. This update is not only welcome, but I think necessary. Besides, it's about time someone got the kiddies interested in Greek mythology again!




What can I say? Actually, not much. We know all the players (Ridley Scott and Russell Crow), and we all know the story behind Robin Hood, so I suspect we're going to get exactly what we expect from this version... 'Nuff said.

And that's about it folks. As a special treat, I leave you with the red-band trailer for Kick-Ass. If you didn't watch any of the others, at least watch this. Trust me, I saved one of the coolest for last!