Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

            My best friend Rich first introduced me to the world of Dexter Morgan. One night, Rich, his girlfriend Christina, Dana, and I gathered around my computer screen to watch the first episode of Showtime's Dexter. It was split into five separate parts, so the viewing was a tad disjointed. After I watched it, I became mildly interested. Here is a serial killer who works for the Miami Police Department as a blood spatter analyst. How droll! What's more, however, is the fact that this serial killer kills other serial killers. Absolutely charming! The first episode drew me into a world that I, regrettably, could not be a part of. Alas, at the time, I did not have Showtime. I was crestfallen, because I had wanted to see how everything worked out for our "hero". Then, a monumental discovery hit me in the face like so many dead carp. It turns out Dexter was based on a book called Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. I was ecstatic, and quickly ran to my local branch of the Kenosha Public Library to procure myself a copy.

            It was like love at first sight. Lindsay's fluid prose transported me to a world where good and evil are not easily defined. A world where the best weapon the "good guys" had was, in fact, what normal society would term to be a "bad guy". Dexter was one character to which I could readily relate. I will not go further into that, because I have no interest in turning this article into a psych study. Needless to say, I enjoyed my first visit into Dexter's world. So, being the bibliophile that I am, I hastened back to the library to grab the second volume in Lindsay's superb series, Dearly Devoted Dexter. I wrote my thoughts on both books in reviews located elsewhere on Dorkgasm, so I will not go into those here. What I intend to do here is to go into what the series did right, and what they did wrong. Keep in mind, this piece is strictly opinionated, so if you disagree, cool. Just don't tell me I am wrong if you do not have a legitimate argument to back yourself up.

            The series starts out wonderfully. Michael C. Hall's portrayal of Dexter Morgan is spot-on. He is cold, chilling, and rightly should be. It's absolute sheer perfection. That's about where it ends, though. Jennifer Carpenter, I feel, does not display the dramatic skills needed to play Debra Morgan, Dexter's foster sister. There's also the physical aspect of Carpenter, as well. Jeff Lindsay describes Deb Morgan in the books as a model-looking type with blond hair and large bosoms. Ms. Carpenter does not have either. Not that I'm that shallow, mind you, but her acting range only calls attention to these facts even more. Playing the title role in The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Carpenter worked wonders as a withdrawn, possibly demonically possessed young girl. As a ballsy, brazen police officer, however, I find her lacking. Yet another character that Showtime’s casting department should have thought about longer is Sergeant Doakes. Erik King was effective as Moses Deyell on Oz, but I think his barking-dog delivery is not only ill suited to this character, but distracting on top of it. Was Keith David busy? This brings me to Lauren Vélez, who plays Lieutenant Maria LaGuerta. Where, oh where, did she go so wrong? I can remember New York Undercover where she played tough and no-nonsense quite well. She feels like a neutered dog in this role. No bite, and certainly no bark. I really feel many great opportunities were missed here.

            What chafes me the most though, as an ardent fan of the book, was the plotting of the season. I understand the Ice-Truck Killer is important. In fact, it should be the most important element of the season. The books provided enough material so that the entire season could have been the first book with no excess. Yet, the writers deigned it necessary to add other side stories to make everyone think that Dexter was not such a bad guy deep down. That's not the author’s point at all. Dexter is a monster that is masquerading as a man. He feels out of place amongst us humans, and he kills for fulfillment. Not really the best neighbor you could ask for. Cody and Astor, the children of Dexter's girlfriend Rita, are so buoyantly happy on the show, you would think they're not products of domestic abuse. Not so in the book. In fact, one could be a little concerned about the demeanor of Cody and Astor. Rita, also, is a sore spot for me. Julie Benz does a good job with the character, but they made her too sexual. In fact, she is far too sexual. The main reason Dex likes her in the book is because she doesn't want to have sex. She is reticent to even kiss the poor bastard. Why the writers felt they had to beef up the sex content is a question I'll be asking well into season two.

            Well, maybe I am just getting too picky. I mean, shouldn't I just be happy they made a book I love into a television series? Well, that said, let's move onto Rudy, Deb's new boyfriend. Wait a minute. Who the hell is Rudy? He wasn't even IN the book! A new major character? WTF? Oh, wait. It turns out he's Dexter's brother, come to free his sibling from the mundane existence of normal people. What a crock. Never happened in the book, it didn’t need to. Deb was simply kidnapped. No emotional involvement. This plays against type for the Brian character, as he wouldn't have cared enough in the first place. It could have been interesting if Dexter almost killed Debra at the end, but he didn't. Why, you ask? Well, the writers made him into a pussy. That's the sad fact of it. Dexter turns into a pussy at the end of season one. I only hope they don't screw up season two, but Val's review of the first episode doesn't bode well for my hopes.

            So, in closing, I think the series kinda blows. They took an interesting psychological thriller-cum-dark comedy and turned it into a Lifetime melodrama. The third book in the series, Dexter in the Dark, is out this fall. I hope that Jeff Lindsay doesn't take the same path as Showtime and screw the pooch. I will be watching on September 30, when the second season of Dexter hits Showtime airwaves, but it will be with a hardened and cynical heart. A heart just like Dexter's.