Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

            The latest novel from A. Lee Martinez is not a laugh-a-minute riot, and that’s okay. When it came in the mail, I was looking forward to another row of dork in-jokes, pop-culture references, and a slew of witty banter, but this novel had surprises for me. His previous works have felt like a man who could channel the best parts of Robert Aspirin and Douglas Adams wrote them. This worked well, but looking back, sometimes the humor felt like it was covering up for a lack of heart. This new novel, Automatic Detective, changes that and ends up not as funny, but may have more to say.

            I remember my childhood in the 1980’s very vividly. My friends and I would run around the forest behind my house with Entertech squirt guns pretending to be John J. Rambo, killing dirty cops or evil commies. We all carried pocket knives that we would pretend had compasses, sewing kits, and an assortment of other tools we would need to take out “the bad guys”. For us, the Rambo franchise wasn’t about how we treated Vietnam War Veterans, or how America was tougher than any Red State out there (though the cold war indoctrination certainly took its roots), it was about one man overcoming huge odds and winning the day. It was about a hero.

            Do I believe in God? Of course. Like every God-fearing Republican, I am in total awe of our Creator. However, I do take offense to some of the shit that is done in his name. War, hatred, and dubious political actions are put under the all-encompassing “Christianity” banner, and it pisses me off to no extent. However, one entity out there really grinds my beans more than any other. I am talking about those schmucks at the Westboro Baptist Church.

            Considering the tremendous amount of success that Michael Haneke’s anglicized remake of his own film Funny Games is receiving at Sundance right now, and that myself and Head Dork Michael Riedlinger are both fans of the director, this seems like the perfect time to introduce you to one of Haneke’s earlier cinematic masterpieces. Caché is the 2005 French thriller starring Michael Auteuil and Juliette Binoche that was released to the usual critical acclaim, but muted box office figures.

Manhattan today was the scene of a truly sad event. Heath Ledger, star of many films that spanned a twelve year career, was found dead in his downtown Manhattan apartment. He was twenty-eight years old.

            I actually saw the Golden Compass in December, but I was distracted by the holidays and feeling lazy so I just got to this review now. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this film. I heard about some of the controversy surrounding the author, and the story itself, but as with any news, you can only believe half of what you read.

            At the end of Cloverfield, someone in the crowd shouted, “Well that sucked”! The camera work was just as shaky as The Blair Witch Project, if not more so, but we all knew that going in this time, right? We don’t see the monster right away, but we should all be acclimated to that as well, considering the amount of security over such images in genre films (think about when you actually first saw the Balrog). The story, your basic “Monster Tramples a City” plot, is rudimentary, but then it is a “Monster Tramples a City” movie. There is plenty in Cloverfield to complain about I suppose, yet I completely disagree with the man who sat behind me in the standing-room-only theater. Why is that?

And now I remember why I wanted to learn Klingon in 7th Grade... The magic is back folks!

Huh wha?!? Cave people Vs. Vikings Vs. Egyptians?!?!

Stargate really did well for this director, but now he's just getting silly...

            I have to admit, this movie had my parents a little wary. They were afraid that it promoted premarital sex, and did not look down upon teen pregnancy. The fact is that it happens. Teens get pregnant, whether it is intentional or not. This movie, while not disapproving of Juno’s pregnancy, relates to the audience the emotions of coping with the feelings of a girl so young who is bearing a human life in her belly.