Dorkgasm Gonzo Is God

It's over. When the smoke cleared, Kanye West stood atop of the sales charts for the first week sales, selling an astonishing 957,000 copies of his newest album "Graduation".

In a bizarrely stunning move, reality show producers 44 Blue Productions have inked a development deal with none other than Chris Crocker, the YouTube "thespian" whose "Leave Britney Alone" video has generated over eight million hits in the span of one week.

Tea, Earl Grey, hot:

Instead of composing an e-mail on a PDA, says Leslie Spring, the company's chief technology officer, imagine instructing a handheld to "send an e-mail to Tom and tell him 'I'll be there in 10 minutes.'" Spring says that such a feature could be possible with the algorithms--based on 15 patents--that Cognitive Code has developed.

I can't wait until I can vocally instruct my phone to send Mike a picture of my ass.

They say it causes nausea and headaches but we all know what these classic signs lead to:

A fireball fell from the sky and slammed into southern Peru over the weekend, creating a huge crater that emitted a sickeningly smelly gas, local authorities said. More than 600 villagers fell ill, the Peruvian radio network RPP reported Tuesday.

Zombies!

            Maybe you were at a friend’s house when you first saw it, or perhaps you bought one for a long road trip when your DS or PSP was on the fritz, but some of you already have one. Those that do own one probably already keep it next to the crapper where it belongs. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about hand-held Yahtzee! This little gem is damned close to perfection I tell you!

            As part of my ever-continuing search for the heir apparent to the Harry Potter empire, I stumbled across this gem of a book. Derek Landy wrote Skullduggery Pleasant as a young adult work of fiction, but I think it works on more levels than that. Much like Harry Potter did.